i've been having really odd dreams. in one, eileen and amelia and mouse and me were on this maze of wood bridges and play ground equipment, when all of a sudden eileen had to leave us and go see her boyfriend called tim. we watched her leave with him and made fun of how red his shirt was and how short his hair was and how manly he looked, at least from behind which was the only view we had of him. and it was very dark. the remaining three of us sat on a high, hidden platform on the playground and talked about them. mouse REALLY didn't like tim. it seemed ameilia really didn't care. i think she was laughing.

the next night, i dreamed i was in mr. lemay's classroom. the lights were off, except for the over head projector which was used to teach us math. i didn't get the math. the phone rang. i answered it to find my grandma on the other end. i talked to her and started to read a comic book. mr. lemay got angry got angry and started shouting becausei was on the phone, reading a comic book in his class. i called him a bastard. later, i really didn't want to go back to his class, but i knew i would have to. but i didn't. me and some other people somehoe ended up hiding and camping in a forest. there were elves. they wanted to capture us. they were pretty.

then it was christmas eve. i dreamed of a war, with ugly goblins slaughtering people like me. they had found a hole like in fabric from there world to a corn field where people like me came to work and have picnics and wear ugly brown clothes. they didn't know abou the evil army. i did. in the war on the other side, i had to come in fight in theses dense, short, bamboo-looking forests. then someone was talking to a woman in the corn world. trying to tell her something, or she was trying to tell that person something.
and then there was a giant brown dark dome room with a tall black tower-thing in the middle, surroundeed by lava. alanna and sara and i were tiptoing on a ledge and little stepping stones toward it. alanna said "brock is dead" sounding all lifeless. sara said "NO HE'S NOT! he joined the enemy." then i said something. i don't remember what it was. another brock theory, a more happy one.

i spent the night at sara's. we saw peter pan. it was long and sweet and adorable. i want to cradle rob him. i want to see eileen. i hope tim doesn't tag along,


in my ear: bjork music videos
posted by Barnacle |
 

my hair is cut. i have a "boyish british mushroom rockstar thing" going on now. i like it. it's short. alanna keeps calling me little bro. it doesn't help that i'm wearing the hot-man sweater and man-pants. oh well. we went present shopping. i got alanna the wood-pecker alarm clock that plays karma cameleon every two hours. it also has a smoke alarm. it is very cool and thoughtful of me.
we went to poplar plazza for gifts, and later met brock. he and alanna hit eachother with quesadillas at taco bell. he liked my boyish head. it was fun. and cold outside when we ran from establishment to establishment. i love my winter sweater. and the holidays. "kwanzismakah" as i think sara calls them. they are very good. i must go make prersents now.


in my ear: the news
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WTF! i feel australien since i went to sallis's blog. now instead of sugar plumbs dancing in my head, it's images of that stupid, internet sheep trying to teach me that evolution is a lie and that t-rexes were herbivores. then there was this jewish kangaroo. and then the bear wanted to marry the sheep. what christ's word crap are they going to spit out next? is the bear a herbivore too? and then the elephant decided it wanted one god that loved him instead a bunch of gods that didn't. well hell! i just want to vomit. i think i will. got no problem with jesus just that stupid sheep evil idiot.

in my ear: sounding of the footsteps of doom
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oh holy mothers and universes and quick sands and uglies and lovlies. hoooooo. whisper and exhale.
lord of the rings. end of all things. the hobbit sings. the crazy man is mean. the fat one is mine. tremendous! bah! it was so good. i saw it with sara love clutching hands and comforting and trying to persuade her that arwen is not, in fact, an evil man. very risky business. and it was so beautiful. but i've already talked about this, haven't i? i have. but i saw it again. with alanna. and brock and brock's wesley, our sweater and our leather. i was next to alanna. sje wasn't a rock! she got really into the love tremendo! it was beautiful! i think because of brock. and brock understood. and it was wonderful. it was all cuddle clutch hands and heads and hips and laps. so lovely.
and at sara's house i fell from the six-peopled bed and they smote my ruins on the carpeting.
and today we filmed. everyone was so godly. sallis is the best thing ever. i love them all. i practically killed elizabeth in the knee. it was terrible. but then it was okay. and the dance sequence was great. sallis is so charming. oh bah! it was funny. pucker punch wipple.

in my ear: aeroplane over the sea
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i feel better. dad took me to my jolly good appointment which wasn't so bad. we had a heaping big and lovely conversation about lord of the rings. it was tremendous. so tremendous. the love is tremendous.
so tremendous, that sara has invited me to see it again tonight, and i have invited alanna and brock. and we will make brock love it. we will force love into his heart if we have to preform sergical prosedures to do so. so there. and back again.

in my ear: little mouth, sleater kinney
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i slept way too late. did not stay up late at all. everyone just left me on the couch while nick at night flopped around on the t.v. for hours and hours and at two thirty in the morning, i awoke and went to bed where i stayed until one. i heard sounds from alanna's room. thought "probably on the phone with brock." i went to the computer. so did she. indeed, she had been on the phone with brock. she wanted the computer. okay, she could have it when i finished watching the movie scenes -there were two- with cinderella. i'm not sure where it went wrong. maybe when alanna told me to get the dog and i told her to do it because she was up, and then she did it irritably while saying she really needed the computer because she needed to get in touch with kathereine for movie reasons. i think it was before that, though. she had been kind of mean. treating me like i was annoying and unreasonable not to let her on that second, and i don't know, just treating me like a barnicle. i hate that very much. it might be an older sibling thing she does. so oh boy. i decided to "teach her a lesson." i wasn't going to let her on. but i let her get in touch with kathereine, but told her "that's all." so when sara instant messaged she closed it saying "since i can't talk to anyone else" and she talked to katherine and called me a bitch -excuse me, i think the words were "total bitch." anyway, she checked here email too when kathereine wasn't talking. my being there was pointless. she would get what she wanteed anyway. like always. so i left. i'm an ass. alanna's an ass. she doesn't know it, i don't think. maybe she's not, but i think she was- nobody knows. it doesn't seems like a big deal. maybe i'm too sensitive, but when alanna does even one thing to make me feel like i'm stupid or don't matter ot am an ass it becomes tue, and it is true, and i wallow for a while. she says "you know you're awful don't you?" i know i'm awful, but i say "you're pretty damn terrible yourself." she says "you're worse." there you ahve it, folks. i'm worse. i went back to bed. then what does she do? she comes in to tell me she's on the phone with dad and i have some kind of orthodontist appointment. he wonders of i knew. no. nobody told me. i always hate those apointments of mouth torture and mean ladies that only smile at the pretty girls, but i especially hate it today. i feel assy enough. i don't have to feel that and ugly all in one day. but i will. because i have an appointment! jolly good! and then what does alanna do? she hangs up the phone, stands ther, and say she's sorry! everyon will think even more assness of me, but i don't care. i dont want to forgive her. whatever she did, i feel like a worm and a barnicle, all filthy and stupid and lonely and unworthy, and she can't just take it all away by saying she's sorry then pretend nothing happened. because one day she'll do it again and she'll say sorry and i'll forgive her and then one day she'll do it again and she'll say sorry and i'll forgive her - like always. and because nobody reads my blog except alanna-who will not read it very much longer- i don't care that i'm making me self out as childish and self-centered and unreasonable. i am. i'km an ass. hm. it feels good to say it. better than singing lion king songs even. i think i'm going to embrace the assness. it will make me feel better. i want to shove a spatula down her squaking throat. oh, don't look so horrified. she wants to do similar things to me. now, i'm going to over dose on day time cold medicine. i'll wash it down with...bubbly. buubly juic. what's it called? ah. sparkling grape juice. as space ghost says, let's drink until our hearts stop.
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i have a cold. exams are over. over over. over.

went to "Return of the King" and it was. hm. good doesn't describe it at all well. at the end, everyone in all the bottom rows below stood up so i stood up, and was all "STANDING OVATION! -but no. they had gotten up to leave. also, the movie did not make me cry. i hit myself going "cry, morgan, cry" but it didn't work. i do not know how to cry no more. *cyber space tear only not because i can't even cyber cry* and then, it seemed the movie was TOO worthy of applause. it was better to be silent. at all the parts with legolas, kristen went "sexsexsex" which is stupid. we cannot have impure thoughts about him. we can only imagine eating birthday cake for a thousand years and brushing eachother's hair. sara was clinging desperately through my hand through almost all of it, and ginger as well. ali was there too. sara said they left out the best line in the whole book which is "EOWYN! EOWYN! EOWYN!HOW CAME YOU HERE? DEATH! DEATH! DEATH TO US ALL!"
afterwards, dad said: well, we could say everything that wasn't perfect with it.
me: but we don't want to. we'd rather bask
dad:in the wonderous splendor and glory
me:(to myself) wonderfully human.
humans in this case can be hobbits and the like because i say so. don'y know what the last thing i said was all about exactly, but i think it's true and i think you'd know what i meant if you saw the movie. i love sam. i love sam. i love them all. but i love sam.

in my ear: song on the daria commercial
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this is our spanish activity:
move hitherward the entire assembly of those who are loyal in their belief = oh, come all ye faithful
Embellish the interior passageways = deck the halls
Diminutive masculine master of skin-covered percussionistic cylinders = little drummer boy
Tintinnabulation of vacillating pendulums in inverted, metallic, resonant cups = jingle bells
I am wearing harry potter on my head. (he's pissed off.) sara is always away. i miss her. eileen has become tomato red in the head area. hair hair hair. merry christmas. and kwanza. i can't spell the other one properly. oh sadly. i want to go home.

in my ear: your soul mate man beast
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it is not the giving season. it is the barter system. i am expecting glue and sexy man sweaters in return for my flaming paper bags of mangos, hotel soaps, and suit case tags. aren't they pretty?

in my ear: shy, ani godplanet difranco
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exams were today. they are a boogie in my eye. math was -unexpecedly- easy and art was painful. i -much expectedly- drew a picture i hated with very sloppy purple colored pencils. it very nearly killed me. due to jumbly shcedules i got to have lunch with eileen and amelia. alas, no ginger, kristen, or ali and mouse still has flu. i shall run hell for leather to his abyss, cure that which ails him, and drag him back to the kahoona abyss or he won't be able to get his christmas present. most of my gifts were books bought with all my money and mixes with CD case covers maticulously crafted from cut outs and clip art of honey, glow-in-the-dark objects, trees, hugs, rear views, homer simpson, and harry potter, the seething bugger. ho ho ho. speaking of, we found the six best harry potter book quotes. they were all supose to be all-caps but some not-all-caps were too good to leave behind. so i MADE them all caps! mwahaha!
here we go:
"AAAAARRGH!"
"YOU CAN SMELL HIM! SNIFF HIM!"
"THEN YOU SHOULD HAVE DIED!"
"I LET YOU SLEEP IN MY BED!"
"DON'T BE STUPID! IT'S A FLYING HOUSE!"
"THEN-I-DON'T-WANT-TO-BE-HUMAN!" it should be "HU-MAN!" don't you think. well i do. thankyous.

in my ear:pretty good year, tori godlette amos
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the pomegranite is gone. i ate it. there is now a coconut in its place. yesterday had so many things in it. it was cold with many jackets -blue, purple, and i brought the ghetto fabulous one just in case- and the feeling in my brain has yet to return. ooooooh. i'm whispering everything. i don't know how to talk loud anymore and i am still asleep. okay. all right. yesterday, i did many things wrong. school things. there were two extremes to choose: do not care at all about what i did wrong, or care so hard that i fling myself out of the spanish portable to the winds that ravage the little grass pieces after the mowing, and cling so hard to the ground, all the while beating my chest and wailing in unspeakable agony never before felt by anything that is made of elements, that no one will be able to pick off the ashamed, guilty party of my corpse. i think i found a happy medium. or an unhappy one. whatever else me thinks, i know it is safer and more comfortable than any other level of stress.
school went by much as it has these passed seven years, nothing to report that's too interesting. i like going home.
brock came over at some time before eating time, he and alanna wallowed in the land of video games while i drew a picture that i will probably erase and redraw tomorrow. we had a terrible time getting to the gas station grocery store when it was decided to go there. we went to one
corner, one with a grocery store, ran across the street guided by the "walk" signal, ran across to antother croner to a gas station, found nothing pleasing in it, and THEN. there was one corner we had not touched, the smart mart corner! there was only one thing between it and us and that was a really blood gut long street that could fill very abundantly with fast-moving chunks of metal that can kill you! when there were no cars brock ran across. and then i did, which was not smart -smart mart. ha. ha.- and i don't hope i will attempt it again. brocik went all "YAY! PEER PRESSURE!" but alanna is simply not pressured enough and retraced back to the grocery corner. we met her there as my shoe flew away. then we bought oreos, barbecue chips, fig newtons, and a coconut. i was very excited, thinking about the ceremonial cracking open the coconut with a bloody great hammer like a troll with a viking hat. but brock could not wait. AOACK!

in my ear:
posted by Barnacle |
 

there is a pomegranite in the kitchen. i have not yet eaten it. it keeps looking at me. i can't eat things when they look at me. pomegranite seeds are the most beautiful thing. now i am feeling like a puddle. it huuuuurts. way too flat. plus, i am failing math. or minus. or what not. what is not: smily happy cherub morgan. remember how yesterday was duck day? i was a mean fuck duck yesterday. elliot watson showed me his picture in art, pleading for advice on what must he do to improve daffy's duck bill. i said
"IT'S FINE! GO AWAY!" i reeaally did! it was an armagedonous event! then brother chase asked me a question and i looked out the window, then he asked if i was okay and i fiddled with markers. i don't remember this -was in failing math trance at the time- but do not doubt its existance on the time line of life. the time line of life, ladies and gentleman. look at the way it rolls around on the floor(in laughter!). i think we should attack it with hammers. and untie its shoes. that will teach it.

and after school i forgot to go to get my lifeless moth eating history text book from the liberry. way too trance-ish. way too way too. everyone was arguing about how kurp conbain -i looked him up on the google to spell his name right- got killed or didn't get killed or killed himself. it went something like this..
"HE OVERDOSED AND DROWNED IN HIS CEREAL BOWL!" , "THERE WERE SHOT GUN HOLES IN HIS HEAD! WAS THERE A SHOT GUN HIS CEREAL BOWL? ONE IN EVERY BOX!?" "THERE WAS NOT A SHOT GUN THAT'S A LIE!" , "THERE WAS TO-" and so on until i got all holier than thou anf forgot to listen to the conversation. ali left me there a-bloody-lone with the scarvy doglets! i threw sticks at guy named "devin" -whom i played star wars with in kindergarden- and tried to tie his shoes. i falied miserably.
then he and guy named chris -who likes killing heidi(i think)- dropped thier pants to reveal...more pants.
pajama pants with devil on them and the like. you know. ginger was nice lovely to me today.those spanish yarn things we made in spanish were maiming me. brock and alanna say lena is "trey kirk's sister" so it couldn't be anyone else but her that spread nasty lies like bloody, old, orange, conjealing, hardened jelly -resembling a dead sponge fish, or an eel. eels are grosser- on her fucking monster toast! i hope it burns! BUUUUUUURNS! i still feel like a puddle.

in my ear:going to georgia, the mountain goats. very mountainous
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alanna's brawl is chafing. "OW! IT ITCHES!" she says she's glad i'm morgan instead of dad.
" OH! AH! HOOOOOOO!...goodbye brawl." i hayte today. it was so piece of hell. besides the fact that my math test is on tomorrow -cringe.on tomorrow. must stop listening to mr. brown's intercom speeches- my history book was stolen. i wish my math test would get stolen. i am a disgrace to the town of mudville. there is no joy in mudville. i wish i had a water gun that was really a duck sauce gun that i could inflict the woorrld over with like anthrax only a condiment. mouse was absent, but ginger arrived back. probably stumbled in the side door on accident. ali said " fool! it's a flying house!" so many kids in my village are bullocks heads. i hayte children. they were saying mean lesbian things. MWAHAHA! MISTRISS SIN UNLEASHES HER WRATH- AND HOUNDS AND CARROTS AND DUCKSAUCE- ON THE SCATTTER, FUCK PUPPET, DECAPETATED PUSSBUCKETS WE CALL SHOW! oh, bah. it was a draining experience. and people kept having to borrow my fucking brown marker. it's not even the one that smells good. today is duck day. hope it drowns.

in my ear: bullet with butterfly wings, smashing pumpkins
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i wake up way too early every morning. it just eats my soul. like acid. mouse said lena said we -amelia, eileen, sara, me- said we HATED mouse
(1. that's too teen life soap opera to even comprehend!COBBLESCOFF!
2. it is not possible to hate mouse. especially me, because i OWN him. he is my DOG.
we're on the eighth year of ownership, here, lena. do you here me, you little VIPOR?!)
besides, she's the madly-in-love-with-him-while-pissing-him-off-and-calling-him-an-ass one of we merry few. thank gods, he believes that i love him, not hate. still, today at lunch he was all upset while fiddling with his liflessly, hoplessly mangled daily planner. plus, he was responding fruitlessly to hugs. not good. alas. i worry. Kristen and Ali, my lunch table palies, happily engaged in happy, dumb lunch table conversation with me. i love them so. Kristen is good for getting really pissed out the door. Ali's a laugher and nodder, plus she's my body gaurd. People always throw things at our table -specifically our table- and she throws tantrums with carrots. Ginger is the other lunch table buddy, but she's absent every other day whether it is her mental health in dire need of healing or if she's truly ill. me thinks she is on probation, and shall be suspended if these absenties continue. she's such a screwberry.
Then I had art class. Chase Brother/Brother Chase said he was sad so I gave him a piece of paper that said "Chase Brother feel better" and he threw it away.
the pain is beyond words! i must bite my knuckle! I tried to talk to Alanna in Spanish to study for the Spanish test. I think I said "MY SISTER IS PRETTY AND YOUNG. HER HEAD IS GOOD-LOOKING. SHE HAS A GOOD-LOOKING NOSE. HER HEAD IS CRAZY. SHE IS CRAZY" or something. an eight year old boy with a pointy stick spirited away my lunch box and swished the stick at me. i got back my lunch box, thanks to the loud shoutings of sara. it has a picture of ben franklin on it. he is my celebrity crush.




in my ear:pin by the yeah yeah yeahs
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"hell for leather" is my new favorite phrase. i had a good weekend. there was a bit of confusion concerning my house, very fine house, and what i was suppose to do when and where that friday night after becca's show. becca's show...was GODLY! GODLY! hhhmmm-godly-hmmmm. i'm in a state of frustrated stuck-in-headness, that usually follows that bliss state that was becca's show. i was reduced to whimpering "blublub really good blub" and then going "yay" at random intervals. i, of course, loved all the songs -all of them all of them- and was all excited about new ones. it was beauteeful. especially paperhearts, maybe cause i had not heard it live. even the side of her head was beauteeful. (who was there? i just tried to name them. very boring. way too many. anyway) afterwarts, i hopped along to eileen's scottish baby palace. the baby is mia, looks very much like a rose petal or a jelly bean or a jelly petal. we -lena, amelia, sara, and i- were seduced by the orange shag carpet in the bathroom and immediatly took it into the tub. lovely, lovely, night. slept on an inflatable matress, and in the morning i was on the floor, as was the matress (it had deflated), while i was still on top of it. pondered that one.
lena attended some type of birthday-murder-cake-celebratory-and-way-too-early-in-the-day thing. the rest of us ate donuts. i philosophized -AH!- about the original donut and the donut hole, and we scampered our merry way to Davis the kid. i was cross dressed as an afro boy named "Derk" in a man pants and a tremendous endous endous striped sweater to hide my (modest yet existant) chestuals, but in the end they looked bigger and i had to walk cross armed. twas very difficult while keeping a manly possesive arm 'round my bonnie wee wench wife, chan(amelia), and while keeping up with chan's sister, parsley(eileen, who was suppose to be a guy with me but wore a skirt and the idea fell off a cliff) and her lesbian lover, uh(don't remember the name, she had an identity crisis.) we were madly seeking "harry potter and the bible." we read from "harry potter and the bible", we vomited, bought some cake, and left, only to find ourselves in the methodist-thingy-christ-church playground. we played on the cammel. i decided Derk's leg was broken. then we were running away from the British armada. then derk had an affair with parsley, who turned out to be a man, while chan was in a coma and uh ran around going "WAILY, WAILY! I'M HAVING AN IDENTITY CRISIS!" by this time half derk's body had been scalded off by lava and parsley had been pillaged by sharks. it was very exciting. but amelia was ready to go home, so parsley and uh captured a british ship, chan and derk joined the british, the end. i went home shorly after and died on my bed. the next 24 moan-worthy hours were spent sleeping too late and completing the entire ionic bonding project entirely, horribly, madly. and then i did not sleep, but i did have lots of pillows. they know they love me.

in my ear:something vague, bright eyes(again)
posted by Barnacle |
 

things to do before i perish/ bite the big one (the big moon cookie in the sky one that, truth be told, tastes like salted cardboard and knee pit.)
1. go to New Zeland, buy a door
2. flick boogers at cheston, cackle haha
3. passionately love letter the napkins in a gross utaw diner and leave them in napkin box
4. change last name to pillow, spoon, or drop last name all together
5. become math magicain and poof all about, pass some tests
6. cross out number five and become an old sock with an old shoe

in my ear: pause between "nothing gets crossed out" and "from a balance beam" by mr. bright eyes.
posted by Barnacle |